How to Stop Drinking
From The Recovery Self Help Project
| Thank You To Our Sponsor | |
|---|---|
|
|
This article, from the Recovery Self-Help Project, will help you find the best way to stop drinking alcohol. It reviews and compares various approaches to ending alcohol dependence and beginning an alcohol-free life.
Not every approach to stopping drinking works for everyone. Some people need their own unique approach (which may not be the most popular or well-known). And many studies have shown a combination of strategies is the most effective way to quit drinking. If you want to stop drinking, this article will help you decide which approach is right for you. We hope you'll use what you learn here to take the next step to living free of alcohol problems.
The article is organized in four parts. The first and second parts explain what you need to know before you try to quit drinking. You'll learn the importance of recognizing that quitting drinking means addressing the emotional, social, and psychological aspects of drinking. You'll also learn about health risks and the medical profession's role. The third part of the article compares various well-known approaches to quitting drinking and gives ideas about picking the best approach. The fourth part of the article helps you get started with your plan to stop drinking.
PART ONE: WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW BEFORE YOU TRY TO QUIT DRINKING
It's surprising how much confusion you'll find about how to quit drinking. It's like beliefs about getting to heaven: Everyone has their own favorite approach and either doesn't know any other way or thinks every other way is bad. Quitting drinking is similar. Most people either don't know how; know one way and no others; or insist a way that works for them is the only one you should try. This article will make clear that there are several approaches to quitting drinking and no one way is the best for everyone.
You will also learn that there are several things that all successful programs have in common. Knowing these will help you choose the approach that is best for you.
Before you learn more about the different ways to quit drinking there are some very important things you should know before you try to quit. You should learn about some preconceptions that may get in the way. And you should know about medical issues that could come up when you try to quit. First, we'll address things that get in the way.
Trying to Define "Alcoholism" is Not Helpful
In general usage, alcoholism refers to continuing consumption of alcoholic beverages despite health problems and negative social consequences. Experts debate over precise definitions of alcoholism. Is is a disease? Is it genetic? Is alcoholism based on a physical addiction or a psychological dependence? Can one recover from alcoholism? Though these questions are significant to researchers and treatment professionals, finding the best definition for alcoholism is not going to help you quit drinking. If you are concerned about your drinking, stop and see if your life improves.
"Are You an Alcoholic?" Is Not a Helpful Question
Some approaches to alcoholism treatment start by asking you to assess whether you are an alcoholic. There are at least a half-dozen well-known assessment protocols that the medical community uses to screen for alcoholism and problem drinking. Some of the better-known assessment protocols are the CAGE questions, the Alcohol Dependence Data Questionnaire, and the Alcohol Use Disorders Identification Test (AUDIT). Though these questionnaires are helpful for treatment professionals in assessing the severity and nature of someone's alcohol problem, you don't need to take a test to find out if you have an alcohol problem. It's very basic. If you're concerned, you have a problem, and you should take steps to quit drinking. The degree of difficulty you have in quitting drinking, and the changes you experience in your life when you quit drinking, are your best guide to determining the severity of your drinking problem.
Recognizing Alcohol's Dual Nature
Though it's not important for you to define or understand "alcoholism," it's very important for you to understand the nature of alcohol.
Alcohol affects physical well-being, mental health, and one's social relationships. In other words, alcohol can affect just about all areas of one's life.
It's easy to find a comprehensive list of all the negative things that alcohol will do. The list is frightening (appropriately so because alcohol can kill you and ruin the lives of others around you). It's harder to find a list of the apparent positive benefits of alcohol. Yet, people drink because alcohol seems to be beneficial.
It's important to recognize that alcohol exists in our lives and society because it has apparent positive effects on our physical and mental state, as well as social situations. Most of the negative effects of alcohol are long-term. In our short-term immediate experience, and most important, in our initial experiences with alcohol as teenagers or young adults, alcohol makes us feel good and is associated with fun or relaxation. An important key to quitting drinking is recognizing alcohol's dual nature as a feel-good drug and a life-destroying poison.
You'll find that looking at how a program deals with alcohol's dual nature is a good way to assess which approach or treatment program is best for you. Some approaches demonize alcohol and attempt to minimize our attraction to alcohol. Some approaches are realistic about recognizing alcohol's positive attraction. Finally, there are some approaches that focus on ways to introduce new and healthy substitutes for the attractions of alcohol. Think about what helps you change your behavior. Do you need to imagine hearing a disapproving or critical parent telling you what you should do? Or do you need to find new ways to feel good and be reminded that being healthy means feeling good more often? Not everyone is the same when it comes to changing behavior.
Physical, Mental and Social Aspects of Quitting Drinking
When alcoholism began to be described as a disease, early in the last century, significant progress was made in helping people quit drinking and improve their lives. Before that, people with drinking problems were held to blame for their problems. Drunkenness was considered a character flaw, a spiritual affliction, or a bad habit.
Treating drinking problems as a disease has not been completely effective, however. Though researchers have sought a biological or genetic cause for alcoholism, there has been no success in explaining drinking problems as entirely the result of a disease process resulting from a pathogen, genetic or developmental abnormality, or injury. Consequently, approaches to alcoholism treatment that are based on a limited medical model are often ineffectual. It's clear that drinking is more than a physical health problem.
There's a mental and emotional aspect to quitting drinking. There's no reason to return to a 19th century view that people with drinking problems are bad people. It's not going to help if you're blamed for your problem (or you blame yourself). However, we can recognize the role of the individual in initiating and effecting change in their own life. You are the one who can decide that you want to quit, find ways to quit, and follow through on your commitment to quit. In turns out that a common thread in all approaches to quitting drinking is supporting the impulse to quit and giving the individual help in finding new habits and behaviors that lead to living without alcohol.
Researchers refer to this as the "biopsychosocial model of treatment." In medical science, a biopsychosocial approach to treatment of disease requires that the health care team address biological, psychological and social influences upon a patient's functioning. Philosophically speaking, the biopsychosocial model considers that the workings of the body can affect the mind, and the workings of the mind can affect the body. There can be direct interaction between mind and body as well as indirect effects through intermediate factors.
As we know, alcohol affects physical well-being, mental health, and one's social relationships. As such, drinking problems are well-suited to biopsychosocial approaches to treatment. In fact, all successful approaches to treatment include biopsychosocial aspects to varying degrees. What this means is that implicitly or explicitly every alcoholism treatment program takes into account the mind of the person who wants to change and his or her social relationships. This is also where you can see the differences between approaches, in the relative importance given to the individual's own capacity to change, emphasis on changing beliefs or habitual thinking, and use of interpersonal interaction to develop insight or cultivate new habits. It may help you to compare treatment approaches by identifying the emphasis each program places on changing an individual's beliefs and habits.
The Importance of Self-Help
A recurring theme in the treatment of drinking problems is the importance of self-help. This makes sense within the biopsychosocial model of treatment, since changes to the mind's beliefs or habitual thinking are an essential element of quitting drinking.
Each approach to quitting drinking places different emphasis on self-help and the degree to which help comes from other people (and from whom). Some approaches expect that lasting change will only come when help is sought from a group of peers or a higher power. Other approaches expect that quitting drinking requires professional help to uncover underlying emotional disturbances. In general, as self-help programs have become increasingly popular for other areas of life, the emphasis on self-help has increased in approaches to quitting drinking. Self-help programs have begun to appear specifically for quitting drinking, either as supplements for other programs or as the primary method people use for quitting drinking.
Self-help programs approach drinking problems in a variety of ways, depending on the background and experience of the authors of the programs. Some are primarily motivational or inspirational, giving you insight into your habitual thinking or helping you find your capacity for change. Others may use guided visualization, self-hypnosis, or sound healing to initiate change in the unconscious or the energetic body. Some use a mix of approaches for greater effectiveness. All have a goal of addressing the mental and emotional habits which must change if you are going to be successful in quitting drinking.
It's safe to say that your success in stopping drinking will depend on your success with helping yourself. Whether you learn self-help techniques in a clinical setting, from a peer-support program such as AA, through a purchased book or DVD, or from several sources quitting drinking is going to depend on how well you learn to change the mental and emotional habits that currently support continued drinking. No one but you (or, if you prefer, the higher power within you) has the power to end your own problem drinking. You are the one who has to learn to change. You can do it by finding the approach that works best for you.
PART TWO: HEALTH AND THE MEDICAL PROFESSION
Before you get started with finding an approach to quitting drinking, you need to be aware of the health risks of withdrawal from alcohol. And you'll want to consider the issues that come up in involving the medical profession.
Health Risks of Withdrawal
No discussion of quitting drinking is complete or responsible without a warning that alcohol withdrawal can be fatal. Some people have consumed alcohol so heavily and for so long that their brain chemistry has been altered. For these people, when alcohol consumption is stopped, especially abruptly, the person's nervous system suffers from uncontrolled synapse firing. This can result in symptoms that include anxiety, life-threatening seizures, delirium tremens and hallucinations, shakes and possible heart failure. Obviously, most people are able to quit drinking without dying and many people can quit without severe suffering or extraordinary anguish. How bad withdrawal will be depends on many factors, including your overall health; how often, how much, and for how long you've been drinking; and the ability of a treatment program to manage withdrawal symptoms.
When you make plans to quit drinking, assess if you are at risk for a physical health crisis. If you have not been drinking heavily, or for long, you may not expect problems. The best advice is to talk to a medical practitioner who can assess your general state of health and monitor any health changes.
Involving the Medical Profession
It's wise to obtain access to a doctor or medical professional when you plan to quit drinking. However, four problems commonly arise when thinking about involving a doctor when you want to quit drinking. First, doctors are expensive and not everyone has access to affordable health care, especially if you're facing financial challenges brought on by drinking problems. Don't let this stop you. In the United States and most industrialized countries, alcoholism is recognized as a health problem and there are subsidies and programs intended to get medical treatment to people who want to stop drinking. Delivery of services is uneven and programs are often hard to find, but you are likely to find free or low-cost services through community clinics or local government health departments if you look.
A second problem may be concerns about confidentiality. You needn't fear telling a medical practitioner that you are concerned about your drinking and want to quit. Medical practitioners are committed to honoring your privacy and are very aware that carelessness about privacy can risk their careers. Recognize that your worries about privacy are often an unconscious psychological strategy to avoid change and continue drinking. You really have no choice. Either continue drinking and suffer the consequences or be willing to tell someone of your concerns and take a chance on getting help. Quitting drinking requires help and support from other people and a doctor or medical practitioner may well be the first person you enlist in your effort to quit drinking.
A third problem in getting help from a doctor is the medical practitioner's own bias. Due to education or personal belief systems, a medical practitioner may have his or her own ideas about the best approaches to quit drinking. In the worst case, a doctor may not agree that you even have a drinking problem. Some doctors have problems with drinking or drug abuse themselves, and recognizing your problem might mean facing their own problem, especially if your drinking seems "light" or "socially acceptable" (that is, when the doctor drinks as much as you and doesn't see a problem with it). In other cases, a doctor may be relying on a screening program or assessment protocol that's familiar to him or her but fails to take into account your particular situation. Don't let a doctor tell you that you don't have a drinking problem; if you think you may have a problem, it is a problem, and you should try to quit.
A doctor's bias will also affect what treatment approach he or she favors. In general, doctors with conventional training favor clinical approaches involving medical treatment. To them, quitting drinking means rehab clinics (either inpatient or outpatient) and drugs. Other doctors may favor popular peer-based programs such as Alcoholics Anonymous and will be skeptical if you expect to quit without joining AA. They may consider you "non-compliant" if you don't follow up on their referrals to the programs they recommend. Keep in mind that you are seeking medical advice from a doctor, specifically about your body's health and concerns about the effects of stopping alcohol consumption. Recognize that he or she is an expert in assessing your physical health and give careful consideration to his or her health advice. But you are the expert when it comes to deciding what will work best for you in quitting drinking. You are the one who will decide which approach works best for you.
A fourth problem is drugs. In thinking about getting a doctor involved, many people are concerned because they've heard about drugs that are used to treat alcoholism and either don't want to take a drug to quit drinking or are concerned about side effects of anti-alcohol medication.
To many people, if alcohol is a drug, it doesn't make sense to replace it with another. However this concern often masks an unconscious psychological strategy to avoid change and continue drinking. If you have to ask yourself, if I'm already using a drug (alcohol) that does long-term damage and I can quit by using another drug (anti-alcohol medication) that reduces the harm I'm causing myself, is it worth it? If you're committed to quitting drinking, it will be worth it to find a way to quit drinking. Medication may help.
Other people are eager to try any drug that will help them quit drinking. The medical profession often encourages this because drugs are a mainstay of conventional medical treatment. But pills are not cures, as you might guess if you are thinking about quitting drinking. Some people say that the tendency to prescribe medication to treat problem drinking comes from the same impulse that leads us to drink; namely, that ingesting substances can solve our problems or make our lives better. You will want to consider this as you compare treatment approaches. Don't ignore the fact that medication may help you through a transition to an alcohol-free life but don't assume anti-alcohol medication is sufficient to quit drinking. A combination of approaches may be effective and medication may be part of your program. Ultimately the test of an effective program is asking yourself, Have I found the best way to live without dependence on external aids or conditions? Medically prescribed drugs may or may not be part of your journey to living without dependence on alcohol.
PART THREE: DIFFERENT APPROACHES TO STOP DRINKING
Here are your choices for getting help in quitting drinking:
* Home-based recovery programs * Psychotherapy * Medical consultation * In-patient rehab * Outpatient clinics * Alcoholics Anonymous * Al Anon * Alternatives to 12-step programs * Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) * Churches and faith-based programs * Community organizations * Friends and family
In the next paragraphs, you'll get an overview of the various approaches to quitting drinking and learn how they differ.
Home-based recovery programs
Home-based recovery programs are the approach that relies the most on the individual's capacity for self-help and the least on institutional or group assistance. There are a number of commercial home-based recovery programs or alcoholism self-help products. Like any consumer products, the quality and usefulness of the products varies widely. Some are simple products such as self-hypnosis audio programs or sound healing CDs and reflect the author's focus or interest on a particular approach to self-help. Other programs draw from a variety of treatment approaches and offer a combination of techniques based on research or a range of experiences with problem drinkers.
The home-based recovery program, Change Your Mind About Drinking, from the recovery educator and media producer Michael Mears, is an example of a product that uses a variety of approaches. Its approach is similar to the viewpoint of this article, namely, that a combination of techniques is ultimately most effective and that no single approach is best for everyone (the company that produces the Change Your Mind About Drinking program is a sponsor of the Recovery Self-Help Project and this web site). Change Your Mind About Drinking is a video program on DVD, an audio CD, and a workbook. There are exercises and techniques that train the problem drinker to reframe negative language to positive language (based on the techniques of NLP, or neurolingustic programming; Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), a theory that negative emotions are caused by disturbances in the body's energy field and that tapping on the meridians while thinking of a negative emotion alters the body's energy field, restoring it to balance; cognitive therapy; meditation; simulations; hypnotherapy; and interactive exercises. The DVD combines motivational messages from recovering alcoholics with scenarios that suggest ways to break old habits and install new behaviors in a production that uses multi-media techniques derivative from advertising and psychocybernetics to stimulate all senses simultaneously in an effort to reshape the unconscious mind.
Self-help programs are most effective for the individual who has made a real commitment to overcome a drinking problem and has sufficient personal motivation to follow-through and regularly view or listen to the program. A program such as Change Your Mind About Drinking substitutes motivational monologues from celebrities or other people who have been successful in their recovery efforts for the live group interaction that a problem drinker might get from a AA or another peer-based program. This limits the negative influences that other people can have in recovery but, of course, there's no possibility for the individual expert guidance of a psychotherapist, treatment professional, or peer counselor. For these reasons, home-based recovery programs can be more effective when combined with other approaches such as AA or psychotherapy.
Home-based recovery programs are very useful for people who cannot obtain the support or help they need from other treatment approaches. Costs are less than any fee-based service such as rehab or psychotherapy and there is no need for the physical presence with a treatment provider or peer-based group. These self-help programs can be very beneficial for individuals who travel or cannot regularly attend AA or other peer-based group meetings. These programs are also useful for individuals who are in the earliest stages of recovery and are just beginning to explore the possibilities of getting free from alcohol, especially if there are privacy concerns or fear of social stigma. These programs are also used to provide ongoing self-support for people in treatment programs, either during rehab or after leaving a treatment program.
Since most home-based recovery programs offer positive reinforcement to change thinking, they can offer an important balance to approaches that utilize coercion, negative reinforcement, or stigmatization to motivate changed behavior.
Finally, home-based recovery programs can be an important supplement to treatment programs that under-emphasize the importance of the mind in changing the beliefs and habits that contribute to problem drinking.
Psychotherapy
There are as many kinds of psychotherapy as there are practitioners and clients. More so than other approaches, psychotherapy can be tailored to the individual and focuses on the psychological aspects of recovery. There is a significant body of scientific research and treatment study in alcoholism recovery that skilled therapists can draw on, as well as a number of esoteric and spiritual frameworks that some therapists have found to be useful. Among all approaches to quitting drinking, psychotherapy does the best job at developing the individual's recognition of problem beliefs and behaviors. A psychotherapist is dedicated to helping an individual discover the capacity to change one's life through insight and the cultivation of new beliefs and behaviors.
Psychotherapy is uniquely suited to sorting out a group of issues that may be complicating your life. It could be that problems with depression, anger, or self-esteem are as much of a problem as drinking and must be addressed if you want to quit alcohol. If you've tried to quit drinking but have been unable because other problems got worse, you may find that psychotherapy is the best way to sort it all out. This is true if patterns of problems occur in your life, especially patterns from childhood or past relationships. Despite popular television stereotypes, not all psychotherapists are preoccupied with healing emotional wounds from childhood (most therapists are just as skilled in dealing with current pragmatic issues). But if you know that there were disturbing or painful experiences in your life, a psychotherapist may be the best person to help you quit drinking.
Psychotherapists are also uniquely able to address the interpersonal aspects of drinking problems. It may be that alcohol is only one factor among a group of problems that include trouble in a marriage or with parents or children. If your drinking problem is a problem in social settings, when you're around family, or involves issues of anger or interpersonal conflict, a psychotherapist will be able to help. Working on your drinking problem might end up being part of marriage or family counseling instead of just your own individual work.
In summary, psychotherapy is ideally suited to addressing alcohol's mental, emotional and interpersonal aspects. By helping an individual find his or her own capacity for change and by addressing any family or group dynamics that prevent you from living without alcohol, psychotherapy can be very effective in helping you quit drinking.
There are two aspects to psychotherapy that limit its effectiveness. First, in most cases, it is a fee-based service. Health insurance may cover costs but often an insurance plan does not offer adequate reimbursement to provide ongoing treatment, especially if an individual needs more than intervention during a crisis. Also, the therapist who may be most compatible with you, or who has the approach that will work best for you, may not be covered under your insurance plan.
Second, it may be difficult to find the right therapist for yourself. Like a marriage, psychotherapy requires a level of personal intimacy to be effective, and (perhaps even more than many marriages) a willingness to be truthful and stick with the process even when feelings are strong or uncomfortable. A skilled therapist can help you keep going through blocks and resistance that may be uncomfortable, but you still must make a personal commitment to keep going and not drop out too soon. This can be difficult when every session costs money, if your resources are limited.
Also, like working with a medical doctor, each psychotherapist brings his or her own bias to the work. Therapists are trained to be adaptable and recognize the differing needs of each client and the best therapists draw on a variety of approaches and are resourceful in finding the best ways to help you. You'll still find that each therapist has a personal style or preferred treatment framework that influences their work. That means you may have to look around to find the therapist who is the best match to your own needs.
You also should try to find a therapist who has experience (and success) with people who are quitting drinking. Some therapists specialize in alcohol-related problems. You should ask how often a therapist works with people with drinking problems and what issues he or she sees most often. It may be that alcoholism is not the therapist's specialty, which may be fine, but you should be comfortable that your therapist has dealt with the issue often enough to have sufficient experience to help you.
Finding the most appropriate therapist can often be a challenge, especially when costs are a factor. Fortunately, there are cost-saving alternatives to one-on-one work in a psychotherapist's office. Group therapy, where a therapist meets weekly with a small group of people with similar issues, can be significantly less expensive than individual therapy. Often this provides the benefits of peer-based groups such as AA with the additional professional guidance of a trained psychotherapist. You may also find a therapist you like who works in a sponsored or low-fee facility such as community clinics or health maintenance organizations.
Finally, you may want to combine psychotherapy with other approaches, such as participation in a peer-based program such as AA, or use of a home-based recovery program. Most therapists will encourage you or support you in trying other approaches if they see you're getting genuine help.
Medical Consultation
As a problem drinker you may consider seeing a medical doctor for several reasons. You will need help in assessing your physical health. You may also find an opportunity to work with a doctor who specializes in treatment of alcoholism or who prescribes medication for alcoholism as part of a broader rehab program. You should be aware that not all doctors are adequately prepared to help you quit drinking.
Potential Problems With Medical Consultation
You may be surprised to know that the majority of physicians are very reluctant to become involved with alcoholism. Many primary care physicians and family doctors simply do not have enough information about alcohol. Physicians may recognize drinking as a problem but give greater attention to its medical complications and coexistent illnesses.
Physicians have learned to expect poor outcomes when treating alcoholism and often view treating all alcoholics as hopeless. The cultural bias of a middle class Puritan tradition also affects many physicians. While they may have been taught that alcoholism is a disease, many still feel that the illness is a moral problem manifesting willful misbehavior. These physicians often are reluctant to get involved with the alcoholic or problem drinker. In addition, some physicians are embarrassed by feelings of incompetence or frustrated because there is no clear course of treatment.
The presence of alcoholism in the physician's own family can be a problem, especially if the family member never successfully dealt with the problem. Such experience taints the outlook of the clinician. Finally, there are physicians who are themselves drinkers. When they see an alcoholic patient, their own personal habits are called into question. In such cases, the physician's own denial mechanisms tell him to avoid the patient and the diagnosis. When both the physician and patient engage in simultaneous denial, the disease becomes invisible. Alcoholism often remains hidden because a primary symptom of the disease is denial.
Complicating all these factors is the economy of medicine. In an era when primary care physicians are expected to see large numbers of patients, the arrival of an alcoholic is, simply put, organizational bad news. Establishing a relationship, breaking through denial mechanisms and convincing the patient that he has to abandon alcohol does not fit into the tight schedule and billing constraints of many primary care physicians. Given this environment, it is fair to ask whether primary care doctors can be expected to helpful in treating alcoholic patients other than by referring them to a psychiatrist or substance abuse counselor.
Given all these potential issues, it is probably best not to expect your primary care physician to help you with your problem. A better approach would be to check with in-patient or outpatient treatment programs where you can be counseled by someone trained and skilled to deal with alcoholism and drug dependency.
Monitoring Your Physical Health
Despite the limitations you may encounter among many medical doctors in addressing a drinking problem, it is wise to consult a physician as you begin your process of recovering from alcohol dependency. It is important to consult a health professional, as long as you keep in mind that physicians, generally, are not experts in the field of alcohol recovery.
Physicians are the best source for determining your physical state of health. Ask for a complete physical exam, including complete blood tests. You want to know if your liver has been compromised, if your blood pressure is too high, if your cholesterol levels are satisfactory, and so forth. The state of your health is important to know as you approach quitting drinking because, among other things, you need to know the kind of detox program that will best accommodate your state of health. The extent to which your body is poisoned from alcohol is important for your counselors, physician, and other health care providers to know so that they can create the most effective program of physical recovery for you. You want to know if you are deficient in specific vitamins, minerals, and amino acids. Chances are, if you have been abusing alcohol for any extended period of time your body is depleted and lacking in crucial minerals and vitamins and you will need a program that will put you back to optimum health. Once you have the results of your physical exam you would be well-advised to seek out a nutritionist to help you get on a program of supplements and foods that will re-balance and re-energize your system. Getting your body back into optimal health is a critical component of your overall recovery program. As you proceed with your recovery make certain you return to your physician for follow-up tests so that your progress can be evaluated and your state of health monitored.
Doctors Who Prescribe Medication for Alcoholism
Counseling and 12-step structured treatment programs have been the core of alcohol dependence treatment. Treatment with medication has been an adjunct. Often medication plays a limited role and is used for severe cases. To date, three medications -- disulfiram (Antabuse), naltrexone (Trexan), and acamprosate (Campral) -- have been approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) for the treatment of alcohol dependence, and only about 20 percent of eligible patients receive them. If your alcoholism is severe and if you get help from a rehab clinic, you may see a doctor who prescribes and monitors medication to help you quit drinking. It's unlikely that medication alone will be your sole approach to recovery.
Doctors Who Specialize in Alcoholism
If you are facing a multitude of health problems, or if your alcoholism is so severe that quitting drinking may immediately create a health crisis, you may wish to explore the option of seeking help from a medical doctor with training in medical intervention of alcoholism. Physicians who specialize in the treatment of alcohol dependency are often associated with rehab clinics. Physicians who are associated with a rehab clinic are likely to be among the few medical doctors who have the experience and institutional support to address a drinking problem.
In-Patient Rehab
You may want to consider an in-patient rehab clinic. In the United States and Canada, most follow the same basic protocol: a program in which you are a patient in a clinic 24 hours a day, seven days a week for 28 days. The quality and effectiveness of the clinics varies considerably, as does the cost and the environment.
Many clinics have minimal accommodations. You will share a dorm-style room with one other patient, and you will assist in general housekeeping and food preparation. Traditionally a rehab program offered very few, if any, amenities. That is still the case with most clinics. They espouse a spartan approach to recovery. In contrast to these traditional clinics, some newer rehab clinics resemble resorts. These elite facilities provide the patient with all the amenities of an upscale resort –– spas, luxury quarters, gourmet foods, recreation and entertainment. The cost for one month is astronomical and, of course, these facilities cater to celebrities and the wealthy. Insurance policies may cover the cost of a 28-day in-patient program but they will not cover the cost of the luxury clinics. Unless you are wealthy, a luxury clinic is not an option. If you are wealthy, you should recognize that the quality of the programs' amenities will have little to do with your successful recovery. Alcohol recovery specialists disagree as to the value of providing patients with such elegance and pampering. And the elegance of the facility may not reflect its competence or success as a treatment program.
Most rehab clinics follow the Twelve Step program of Alcoholics Anonymous. Daily immersion in the Twelve Steps is a staple part of the program. There are daily meetings in group sessions facilitated by a licensed counselor. There is also a physician, or team of physicians, on staff monitoring the physical health of the patient. There are very strict rules and regulations that have to be followed and your every move is monitored. Alternatively, there are clinics that do not follow the Twelve Steps at all and introduce a program of their own, and there are clinics that use a modified version of the Twelve Steps along with a proprietary program. You'll want to read the section of this article that describes Alcoholics Anonymous to determine if a clinic that uses a Twelve Step program is the best for you.
There is debate among recovery specialists as to the effectiveness of in-patient rehab. There are those that argue the cost of an in-patient program is exorbitant. There are those who contend that the reason clinics have standardized on a 28-day program is because an insurance policy will cover a maximum of 28 days in a clinic and not because it takes 28 days to detox and break the pattern of drinking. Even without considering the economics of the rehab industry, you will want to consider that an outpatient program can be equally effective, and perhaps more effective.
The question to ask yourself is what kind of program will work best for you. Evaluate your circumstances: have you bottomed out and desperately need a clinical setting to get back on your feet? For some people, 28 days of in-patient rehab is absolutely the only way to begin changing one's life to live alcohol-free. Can you afford to take 28 days out of your life to check into a clinic? For some, the question may be, can I afford not to? If that's the case, then ask if you have insurance that will cover an in-patient recovery program and evaluate the clinics that are available to you. You can most likely find one that is relatively close to where you live. A simple search on Google will give you ratings and testimonials on any clinic in the country. Call, visit, and discuss the program to determine which one feels best for you.
If you are considering an in-patient clinic, be aware that the majority of patients who have undergone a 28-day in-patient program relapse within three months. Some put the relapse rate as high as 75%. With this in mind, you should recognize that, given the high relapse rate, in-patient rehab should not be your only approach to recovery. Be sure to look into the other options that include out-patient programs, self-help home-based recovery programs, and out-patient group counseling programs. Though in-patient clinics often promise an all-inclusive solution to your drinking problem, recognize that the statistics show that the majority of people who check into a rehab clinic do not make a successful recovery. Your own recovery will depend on what you do to help yourself in addition to the help you get from a rehab clinic. That may be why programs such as Change Your Mind About Drinking are provided as graduation gifts to people who complete a 28 day inpatient rehab program.
For a partial listing of alcohol and drug treatment centers see: a listing of Alcohol and Drug Treatment and Rehab Centers
Outpatient Clinics
Most outpatient programs are associated with a hospital or health-care program. The program is not as intense as in-patient rehab since the outpatient program does not confine you to a facility. The programs are ongoing; there isn't a specific number of days the program lasts. In other regards, outpatient clinics provide largely the same services as an in-patient rehab clinic. You'll have access to monitoring by medical staff, you'll be guided by trained counselors, and you'll work with peers to develop a support system of new habits and beliefs that will help you transition to a life free of alcohol.
With an outpatient clinic, you can carry on your daily functions and attend the outpatient program. You can come and go but are expected to attend daily meetings. Typically, you will meet once a day at a prescribed time in a group session facilitated by a licensed counselor.
In common with peer-based programs like Alcoholics Anonymous, the camaraderie and fellowship of sharing is the backbone of the outpatient program. Like AA, patients who participate in outpatient programs come from all walks of life. It is typically a diverse group that attends –– men and women, young and old, well-to-do, and down-and-out. Some are there by court order, such as those who have been convicted of a DUI but most are there voluntarily. Counselors are very effective in getting participants to share their stories, take responsibility for their alcohol dependency, build new relationships, break old destructive habits, and develop a renewed sense of being alive and alcohol free. Sharing and celebrating sobriety with the other participants strengthens one's resolve to stay away from alcohol. Learning from others how they overcame their addiction is instructive and inspirational.
Unlike peer-based programs like Alcoholics Anonymous, support groups in the outpatient clinic are guided by licensed counselors who typically have professional training in psychology and substance abuse recovery programs. Some of these counselors may be recovering alcoholics themselves but others may simply be mental health professionals.
Most outpatient programs, like the in-patient clinics, follow the Twelve Step program created by Alcoholics Anonymous. You'll want to read the section of this article that describes Alcoholics Anonymous to determine if an outpatient program that uses a Twelve Step program will suit you.
Many employer-sponsored insurance policies cover the cost of an outpatient program. Check with your human resources person at the company where you work for details. If you don't have health insurance, look for outpatient programs that are affiliated with nonprofit organizations, and community or government agencies.
In general, outpatient programs are ideal at providing a structured, organized, and supervised approach to quitting drinking. You'll have the guidance of a trained mental health professional and the support of a peer group. The effectiveness of the program will have a lot to do with the skill and personality of the counselor who leads the program. And your success will have a lot to do with your willingness to commit fully and engage with a group of people who you may not share much in common with except your problem with drinking. Your success will depend on how much you can learn from others and how much you can do for yourself.
Alcoholics Anonymous (AA)
Alcoholics Anonymous has been helping alcoholics for over 70 years. It's not difficult to say that AA has done more to help problem drinkers than any other program in history. AA, and the various Twelve Step programs that are an outgrowth of AA, dominate all other approaches to recovery, and are pervasive among in-patient rehab clinics and outpatient programs, as well as among most therapists and counselors who work in rehab. To some extent, AA and the Twelve Steps are synonymous with recovery from alcohol addiction.
That said, it's not for everyone, and people often mistakenly assume that if you are not helped by AA you will never be helped. Whether or not AA is the best program for you is up to you to determine. Reading about the program and beliefs of AA and its origin will help you decide how compatible the approach will be for you. See the article Where the Twelve Steps Came From for more about the origins of AA and its philosophical underpinnings.
It's important to recognize that even if the values, attitudes, and beliefs of AA and its proponents are different from your own, or even offensive to you, AA may still help you! Many people, perhaps even most people to some degree, resist the beliefs and values of AA. And despite that, many people recover from their drinking problems with the help of AA. There are several aspects to this. First, AA is one of the few approaches that is almost universally available at no cost throughout the world. And despite the fact that "one size doesn't fit all", given very few alternatives, AA is good enough to work for many people in most circumstances. Finally, resistance to changing one's values, attitudes, and beliefs is at the core of all drinking problems. It is to be expected that a problem drinker will be resistant to adopting AA's beliefs as a substitute for his own. The degree to which you are willing to "suspend disbelief" or "try on for size" AA's values and recommendations will determine to a large degree how successful you will become with an AA approach to quitting drinking. And ultimately, AA's success for most people doesn't have to do with which beliefs you are willing to accept but whether you are willing to participate in the process of change which is at the core of the AA approach.
So, in a nutshell, AA is very likely to help you, as it has helped so many others. However, how easy it is for you to be successful in recovery with AA will depend on how easy it is for you to accept the changes in beliefs that AA asks you to make. Your willingness to change beliefs, let go of your resistance, or at least suspend judgment to "try out" the AA approach, will determine whether you are able to participate successfully in the AA "process."
You'll want to focus on Alcoholics Anonymous as your primary approach to quitting drinking if you cannot afford psychotherapy or a rehab clinic (either in-patient rehab or an outpatient program). Also, if you live in an area where you have limited options for professional help from psychotherapists or rehab professionals, you may find that there is an AA chapter close by. The wide availability of AA is truly a lifesaver for many.
If you need the structure of regular meetings and the support of people who have struggled with the same problems as you, participating in AA is highly recommended. Most problem drinkers need a regular and structured program that provides support from peers, which is why AA is so important, and why so many other approaches, including psychotherapy and rehab clinics, incorporate AA as part of an overall approach.
In joining AA, you'll often be offered the support of a "sponsor." A sponsor is a member who agrees to guide you through the Steps of AA, answer questions and generally be there for you as you travel through recovery. Often your sponsor will take your phone call in the middle of the night if you are in crisis or emotionally overwhelmed. However, a sponsor is seldom a trained mental health professional and therein lies a limitation of AA. Unlike receiving help from a psychotherapist, inpatient rehab clinic, or outpatient program, AA is a community of peers and doesn't provide counselors who are professionally trained in mental health issues or substance abuse recovery. Counseling by peers has its unique values. Among other things, there's compassion and an empathy that an outsider cannot gain solely with professional training. But if your emotional and mental state is complicated by the complex dynamics of a difficult family situation, abuse or trauma in your personal history, or disease or dysfunction from other physical or mental health issues (sometimes called "dual diagnosis"), you may need help from someone such as a psychotherapist or other trained counseling professional. You should not expect AA to be your sole help in recovery if support from your peers is not enough to improve your situation.
Research clearly indicates that in breaking free of alcohol it is essential to get support and help from others. The type of support that is needed depends on the personality and circumstances of the recovering alcoholic. Whether AA "works" for you may depend on your "cognitive style" or how you take in information. Some people find it difficult to attend AA meetings because they are not comfortable sitting and listening to the attendees share endless stories. There are many alcoholics who hate the idea of going to AA meetings. Rather than dismiss them as not being ready to recover from their addiction the question we can ask is why AA meetings are so unpleasant to them. The majority of those who attend AA meetings regularly and faithfully are auditory dominant. They thrive on hearing themselves and others talk. Hearing about and sharing their own stories motivate them. At the same time, those who are visually oriented tend to stay away from meetings. They’re just not able to sit still and listen to themselves or others "prattle on and on" about their drinking problems. There are those in the AA community who will categorically state that refusal to attend AA meetings is direct confirmation that the alcoholic is in denial and running away from his problem. That may be the case with some, but by no means does it apply to all. In fact, the AA format is not "right" for certain types of individuals, especially those who are "visual learners" or "kinesthetically oriented" (in contrast to those who are "auditory learners"). If you know you have to look at pictures or move when you are learning something new, or if you are someone who "can't sit still" or gets very bored in meetings or classrooms, AA may not be helpful. You may need to explore other options.
Alcoholics Anonymous may be difficult for you if you are not a "joiner" or resist identifying yourself with a group, especially if it's difficult for you to feel comfortable with people who come from different backgrounds. In large cities, you may be able to find an AA group composed of people who share your background, either ethnically, professionally, or by gender, age, or sexual preference. That's not as likely outside of a large metropolitan area. That said, many people who join AA come to value the experience of getting to know people who are different than themselves who face similar difficulties in differing circumstances.
AA is difficult if you are uncomfortable with its underlying spirituality (which comes from a Christian tradition of belief in God). It can be difficult if you don't like the idea of being pressured to accept other people's ideas. In general, if you are to some extent a nonconformist, an Atheist or agnostic, or more comfortable with non-Christian spirituality, AA may be hard for you. AA can still work for you if you are willing to look beyond its specific language and accept the well-meaning intent of its founders and proponents, but you will have to make allowances and see beyond its culture to its more universal truths. It may be worth it to you to participate in something that is different from yourself to gain the benefit of AA's help in quitting drinking.
In addition to providing a structure, regular meetings, and a support group of peers, Alcoholics Anonymous is very effective at focusing your recovery on changing habits and belief systems from those that support problem drinking to those that reduce the tendencies to drink. Depending on how closely your AA chapter follows the original approach of AA's founders, and the prevailing values of your local community, AA may not be effective at fostering new and healthy habits that replace the urge to drink. If AA has a negative stereotype, it is as a gathering place for people who smoke cigarettes, drink coffee, and tell endless stories about how bad their lives were before they joined AA. There are those who have a view that AA attendees, particularly those who have been attending for long periods of time and who see no end in sight to their ever-present addiction, are, in fact, addicted to the very meetings they attend to free themselves of their alcohol addiction. From that perspective, AA is an improvement over alcoholism but not the fullest development of one's potential. Identifying and changing the beliefs that lead you to drink many not itself introduce new beliefs that help you find new possibilities and joy. That's up to you, either within the AA community, or outside of it.
Despite its successes, AA has its critics. To some, even when it is successful at eliminating the suffering and health consequences of drinking, it substitutes a belief system that keeps the alcoholic in a state of anxiety and diminished autonomy that in itself may limit growth and further development. To what extent this is true may be more a philosophical question than a practical one. And it has as much to do with one's own capacity to continuing growing and adapting than from any limitation of AA.
If you choose to adopt AA as your primary approach to quitting drinking, or if you incorporate it as additional support in working with a psychotherapist or doctor, you will want to explore on your own how to change your beliefs and habits for a positive outcome beyond what AA suggests. This is where self-help programs and reaching out to others beyond the AA community can help you continue to grow and stay healthy.
After enumerating the potential drawbacks of AA, it's still appropriate to recommend that anyone with a drinking problem would be wise to check out the program. It has helped turn around the lives of countless alcoholics. You can find links to AA and a directory of local chapters by using Google to search for "alcoholics anonymous." Your phone book will also provide contact numbers in your area for local AA meetings. The meetings truly are anonymous and what happens in an AA meeting stays in an AA meeting. You can feel comfortable and safe that your presence will not be revealed to anyone outside of the meeting. (You might be quite surprised to find more than one person you know at the meeting.) You can attend for no cost; you don't have to talk but can listen to others tell their stories. By attending a free AA meeting, you can see for yourself whether AA will help you overcome your drinking problem. Initially you may be uncomfortable or feel strange, but hopefully, with this guide, you'll put AA's limitations in perspective and discover for yourself how AA can help.
Determine for yourself if the AA approach is right for you. Perhaps you will conclude you want and need a program that is a mixed bag of methods. No matter what alternatives you choose the most important decision for you to make is that you want to quit drinking and you are going to quit drinking no matter what it takes. That's the first step to your recovery.
Al Anon
Al-Anon is a program of recovery for friends and family members of alcoholics, based on the Twelve Step principles of Alcoholics Anonymous. It is a "companion" program to Alcoholics Anonymous. It can be an important part of a program to quit drinking because helping friends and family members of a problem drinker can be essential in an effort to quit drinking.
Al-Anon is an international organization with a membership of over half a million men and women. Al-Anon was formed in 1951 by Lois Wilson, wife of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) co-founder Bill Wilson. She recognized the need for such an organization as family members living with alcoholics began to recognize the psychological effects they were experiencing as a result of living with an alcoholic.
Al-Anon adapts the Twelve Step principles of Alcoholics Anonymous to deal with the problems common to friends and family members of alcoholics, such as: loyalty to those who are abusive, co-dependency, inability to differentiate love from pity, secondary gain, denial, and other dysfunctional behaviors resulting from living with the alcoholic. Similar to AA meetings, the Al Anon meetings begin with a universal statement that is a version of the following: "This meeting is for each of us to take what we wish and leave the rest. My own growth began when I was able to trust. In the meeting, we offer support by sharing our experience, and our strength, and hope to assist each other in the process of recovery. When others in the group share their feelings, I begin to get in touch with mine. Al-Anon does not wish to blame but rather to understand the family disease concept of alcoholism. If you are with us for the first time, let me say that we are not here to take your pain away. We are here to support you as you go through it."
Al-Anon recognizes that most members begin in a state of low self-esteem and teaches that low self-esteem is largely a side-effect of unrealistically overestimating their attempts to control another person's drinking behavior and, when they fail, blaming themselves for the other person's behavior. As family members of alcoholics learn to recognize the pathologies in their families, assign the responsibility of those pathologies to a disease, forgive themselves, accept that they were adversely affected by the pathologies, and ultimately learn to accept their family member's shortcomings, their self-esteem and their desire for a happy, harmonious life begin to emerge. For many people, when your spouse is active in Al-Anon and you are active in AA, not only are you more likely to not drink but your marital happiness improves and you and your spouse become more intimate and more satisfied with your relationship.
Al-Anon emphasizes that alcoholism cannot be stopped by a member's intervention. However, Al-Anon's members learn from each other methods that encourage their loved one to seek treatment. Participation in Al-Anon has been shown to be to be effective in encouraging family members to begin recovery.
As you contemplate your recovery program, think about how you will involve your family members in the process. Think about your husband or wife, girlfriend or boyfriend. He or she will need help in sorting out the emotions and the behaviors that accompany life with an alcoholic or problem drinker. If you and your significant other are comfortable with the Al-Anon approach, you will find a supportive community with experience to help both of you. If Al-Anon does not appeal to you, there are other peer-based groups. Or you may want to find support through a marriage and family therapist or church or community organization.
Alternatives to 12-step Programs
There are very few recovery programs that do not use the Twelve Step approach derived from Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). Most counseling programs, dietary and nutritional programs, psychoanalytical approaches, and cognitive models of recovery tend to conform to the Twelve Step model. It's not that the Twelve Step model is the "best game in town"; it's that it has gained a foothold all over the world and no other model has had the dramatic and wide-ranging impact of AA.
However, the AA Twelve Step model cannot be shown to be universally successful, or even moderately effective. Although almost all treatment programs in the United States and Canada are based on the Twelve Step model, the success rate, according to AA's own internal records, is less than 5% in the first year. As many as 80% drop out before that time. Why the dismal results? Unfortunately, there aren't any scientific studies evaluating the success and failure of Twelve Step programs. There are, however, ample opposing points of view and anecdotal information ranging from those who believe the Twelve Step model is the devil's own device to very reasoned polemics arguing the validity of Twelve Step programs. Should you be interested in opposing viewpoints, two sources are available: Stanton Peele's book, The Truth About Addiction and Recovery, and Melanie Solomon's book, Not the Only Way. Melanie Solomon's book provides a comprehensive list of alternative programs.
To get you started, here are some alternatives to Twelve Step recovery programs: Save Our Selves (SOS), SMART Recovery, Life-ring Secular Recovery, Rational Recovery (RR), Pennsylvania Model of Recovery, YES Recovery, Women/Men for Sobriety, 16-Step Empowerment Model, Moderation Management, Sinclair Method, and Harm Reduction Therapy, and Change Your Mind About Drinking.
Keep in mind that according to the National Institute On Drug Abuse (NIDA), the best predictor of success in rehabilitation is YOUR belief in the program. And according to research from Michael Mears –– the producer of Change Your Mind About Drinking, a home-based, multimedia, self-help recovery program –– the most effective program is one that uses a combination of models to help you overcome your addiction. The single most important predictor of successful recovery from alcohol addiction is the willingness and determination to quit. Until you are truly ready to quit, no program will be successful. We also know that no single treatment program is right for everybody. Matching a treatment program to your individual needs is critical to success. If a Twelve Step program doesn't work for you, take time to study and research alternative programs, and ideally, create a program that will work best for you.
Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT)
Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is an alternative approach to recovery that is worth examining in depth as a comparison and/or a supplement to the better-known Twelve Step recovery model.
Emotional Freedom Technique postulates that disruption to the body’s emotional energy system causes and continues addiction to alcohol. This theory proposes that until the body’s energy system is rebalanced and the emotional causes discovered and reversed the addiction will continue regardless of what steps are taken to stop drinking. The theory is grounded in ample evidence, most specifically the positive and successful results which are explained and described in detail in the book “Emotional Freedom Technique” by Gary Craig, and in the workbook that accompanies the Change Your Mind About Drinking program.
Emotional Freedom Technique states that until the body’s energy system is rebalanced and the emotional causes discovered and reversed the addiction will continue, regardless of what steps are taken to stop drinking. Alcoholism has been so difficult for so many to overcome, according to Gary Craig,"because the unconscious emotional issue that led to and drives the continued addiction have not been uncovered and reversed." Adopting the EFT point of view radically alters the approach to overcoming alcohol addiction.
Every alcoholic, at some level, wants to be free of the harmful and life-threatening effects of alcohol. Those with an alcohol problem know that their addiction is costing them their health, their relationships, and even their life. Yet they continue to drink. They "try" to stop but can’t. They stop for a time, and then something compels them to go back to the old drinking habit. Why? Alcoholics Anonymous' Twelve Step program lays the blame on the lack of willpower, poor motivation, irresponsibility, and other character "defects." But Gary Craig, and others who promote the theory of emotional component of addiction, claim these are not the reasons. The reason is a phenomenon in psychology called "secondary gain," or what Gary Craig calls psychological reversal. “Psychological reversal”, stipulates Gary Craig, “occurs when the energy system in the body changes electrical polarity, and it usually happens outside your awareness. You don’t ordinarily “feel” it happening. It is a polarity reversal in your body’s energy system, which is like having your 'batteries in backward'.”
Gary Craig goes on to say, “Interestingly, it often takes the form of what psychologists call ‘secondary gain or loss’. For example, the person who consciously believes that he or she wants to lose weight will often have a subconscious ‘stopper’ such as, if I lose weight, I will only gain it back again and that will cost me a lot of money in changing my wardrobe. This person is psychologically reversed against losing weight.”
The principle cause of psychological reversal is negative thinking. It is NOT a character defect. All emotions begin as positive emotions and have positive intentions. They become negative and are corrupted as a result of perceptual shifts and abuses from the environment that corrupt the positive thought and emotion. For many alcoholics negative thinking is an all-pervasive phenomenon. It affects their entire life. They are what are called “massively reversed.” This phenomenon is dramatically noticeable at an AA meeting. So many of the alcoholics at that meeting repeat and relive, over and over again, their stories of how alcohol has harmed their lives. We hear in these stories continuous patterns of negative thinking. Some hear voices that disparage them. Others have negative thoughts that overpower any positive thoughts or emotions. Negative thoughts and emotions cause an imbalance in the body. The negative emotions in the alcoholic, and anyone else, cause an imbalance in the body’s energy system causing a chronic reversal of the electrical polarity in their body. As Gary Craig put it, “their batteries are reversed, and their energy systems work against them. As a result they are continually stymied.”
Most alcoholics, like the rest of us, are aware of their negative thinking. But they don’t know what to do about it. Or, more correctly, they don’t know why they can’t stop the negative thinking. A typical AA program, a 28-day in-patient rehab program, or an outpatient program will cover the notion of "stinkin’ thinkin" but may not provide a way to reverse the negative thinking or get at the root emotions that persist.
There are certainly hundreds of self-help books suggesting the use of affirmations or other ways to re-pattern negative thinking. More often than not they don’t really work for the alcoholic or problem drinker because, again, they don’t burrow down into the unconscious where the core negative emotion––the psychological reversal––resides. The secondary gain an alcoholic gets from drinking varies from person to person. Psychological reversals inhibit the balanced flow of energy in their bodies. Correcting the psychological reversal rebalances the body and allows a person to perform at peak potential.
This alternative approach to recovering from addiction goes against the grain of current thought. Schools of therapy address clients’ past memories guiding the client to regurgitate childhood traumas with the hope of providing repatterning of new thoughts and life-affirming feelings. Emotional Freedom Technique doesn’t dwell for any time at all on past memory. Using a technique derivative of acupuncture by tapping on specific energy meridians clients are able to eliminate the psychological reversal that was holding them back thereby rebalancing their system.
The self-help, home-based, multimedia program Change Your Mind About Drinking contains a workbook that provides methods for rebalancing the body and correcting psychological reversals. The most powerful of these methods is Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT). The exercises in the workbook show a person how to apply a proven technique for correcting psychological reversals. For a deeper appreciation of how this extraordinary method can help alcoholics and problem drinkers finally break the scourge of alcoholism read Gary Craig’s “The EFT Manual” and visit his Website at www.emofree.com. On the site there is a downloadable free copy of the EFT Manual and archives of hundreds of cases of EFT in practice.
Churches, Faith-based Programs, and Non-Religious Spirituality
Most churches and religious organizations offer "pastoral" support for members of their spiritual communities or outsiders who want help with life problems. Recognizing that problems with alcohol are a common source of misery and crisis most churches and religious organizations train their leadership to recognize alcoholism and, at a minimum, provide referrals for treatment, or in some cases, offer a program for recovery that is based on the core spiritual values of the religious community.
The effectiveness of a church or faith-based recovery program varies a lot with the expertise of the program's leaders, the degree to which the program's core religious beliefs support an individual's capacity for gaining insight and changing habits and beliefs, and the comfort which an individual has with the program's core religious beliefs. Some might say that effectiveness of a faith-based recovery program depends on the spiritual power of the divine and the willingness of an individual to embrace or surrender to the transformative nature of the divine. Your success at quitting drinking in a faith-based recovery program will depend on your relationship to the divine. If you welcome a relationship with the divine, a good faith-based recovery program can easily help and a poor program may succeed despite its limitations; if you are not comfortable with talk about God or a "higher power", most church and faith-based recovery programs will be a challenge.
Not all spiritual approaches to drinking problems come from churches and religious organizations. There are, for example, spiritual groups that use meditation and group chanting, not necessarily for alcoholics, but as a part of their overall spiritual program. Some of these spiritual groups don't require you to accept a particular belief system. They may teach meditation or other practices as a means to overcome the limitations of the mind or habitual thinking (and in this regard may have a lot in common with programs from self-help teachers). You may find that exploring meditation or other practices such as yoga or sacred dance outside of an organized religion may help you connect with a supportive community and your own sense of "higher purpose".
A meditation program as part of your recovery program can be very beneficial to you. Meditation is taught in various settings. Sometimes it is taught as part of a religion; sometimes it is part of a belief system that includes non-religious spiritual aspects (such as yoga); and sometimes meditation is taught without a spiritual component (for example, as a stress-management technique). Recognize that meditation can be a very useful part of your recovery program and that you can learn and practice either within or separate from a religious framework. Numerous studies have shown that meditation calms the mind and the body and helps to eliminate cravings and desires. If you're interested in pursuing a meditation practice you can research meditation online where you will find a cornucopia of information. One book on meditation that has received praise from millions is Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now. You can find the book on Amazon.com or at Eckhart Tolle's Website, eckharttolle.com.
Looking specifically at Christian churches and faith-based Christian programs, you'll find that most use the AA Twelve Step program in their alcohol recovery programs. Though it is said, "the AA program is for anyone and everyone regardless of their faith or religion", its foundation is Christian and most Christian organizations have been comfortable adopting it. The first step of the twelve steps is to admit and accept that the alcoholic is powerless over alcohol. The second step is to come to believe that a power greater than themselves can restore them to sanity. And step three states, "we turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand him." For those who are not Christian or are atheist or agnostic the AA program can be difficult to accept and practice. AA is very clear in their literature and in all of their meetings that the members seek "a higher power of their own understanding". Alcoholics Anonymous says that alcoholism is a spiritual problem with a spiritual solution. A faith-based recovery program will assert that alcohol has said to the alcoholic, 'Good choice; I am good for you'. It says it with such power and force that the alcoholic becomes addicted to the feeling. The goal of a faith based program is to help the addicted replace alcohol with something that feels even better. That something, they say, is God.
Dr. Robert R. Perkinson, the clinical director of Keystone Treatment Center, a faith-based rehab center, specializes in alcoholism treatment and has written a treatment manual for addiction counselors. His viewpoint is a manifesto for faith-based recovery programs. "I guarantee you," he says, "that if the patient walks into the presence of God they will feel so much better they will follow that feeling anywhere. God's presence is better than any experience you can imagine. Addicts need something better than alcohol to deal with stress. They need to find greater peace, greater love, and greater power or they will go back to alcohol. There are those of you who know this already and there are those of you who are suspicious of spiritual beliefs. I would encourage you to take a look around you."
There is some evidence that shows that those who use religion and spirituality get well quicker and live longer. Research on spirituality and health can be found in scientific journals, including the American Journal of Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation (Underwood-Gordon, Peters, Bijur, & Fuhrer, 1997), the Annals of Behavioral Medicine (Mills, 2002), the Journal of Contemporary Criminal Justice (Lucken, 2000), the Journal of Health Psychology (Thoresen & Harris, 1999), the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, the American Psychologist (Miller & Thoresen) and others.
You may find your recovery to be a spiritual journey of recovery and that without God you may find your recovery to be more difficult. You may wish to seek out a church group or to join a church group along with an AA Twelve Step program. Or you may choose another path that does not include God or a spiritual power. If so, you may, nevertheless, benefit from an AA program since there are certainly many agnostics, atheists, and non-Christians in the program. AA says to those who have difficulty accepting God in their recovery, "Ask one short question, Do I now believe, or am I willing to believe, that there is a Power greater than myself? As soon as a man can say that he does believe, or is willing to believe, we emphatically assure him that he is on his way. It has been repeatedly proven among us that upon this simple cornerstone a wonderfully effective spiritual structure can be built."
As part of an overall approach to quitting drinking, ask yourself how church, religion, or spirituality fits with your effort to stop drinking. Is religion already an important part of your life? Are you comfortable with your church's religious beliefs and will they help you quit drinking? If so, you may want to ask for help from a pastor or other religious leader and seek out a faith-based program for problem drinkers who share your religious beliefs. Of course, your relationship with religion may not be so simple. You may love your church or spiritual circle but recognize a lack of awareness of the problem of alcohol or even judgments that will hinder your recovery. If this is the case, you don't have to give up your religion. Just seek non-religious support from a therapist, peer-based program, or other sources that will help you deal with the practical issues of recovery.
If you're not comfortable with any religion or spiritual belief, you'll face a different set of challenges. First, many approaches to recovery expect you to acknowledge a "higher power" and recognize that your drinking problem is a limitation that you cannot overcome without help from some power greater than yourself. This is particularly true of Alcoholics Anonymous and other Twelve Step programs. It may also be true of any rehab program that uses a Twelve Step approach. If you do not believe in God or a "higher power" you can look for a recovery program that does not expect you to conform to a set of spiritual beliefs. Many people have overcome a drinking problem without turning to God.
There's also a possibility that confronting your drinking problem can be part of a process of "spiritual emergence". There's no question that quitting drinking requires changing your habitual thinking and recognizing that beliefs and values can change. It may be that your beliefs and values about spirituality or a "higher power" will change in your efforts to quit drinking. What you end up believing may not match anyone else's expectations about a "higher power". What's important is to allow the possibility that there is some form of well-being or healing that will help you overcome ingrained and destructive habits and beliefs, whether it is innate in your own being or comes from some power beyond yourself.
Non-profit Organizations, Community Organizations and Government Agencies
There are many nonprofit organizations worldwide that provide help in the form of free assistance, resources, educational programming, research data, treatment options, and support initiatives to help those who have or are affected by the addiction.
The approaches of each organization and the services they offer vary widely. What's important to know is that organizations likely exist within your local community that can offer you help in quitting drinking, even if you don't have financial resources to pay for fee-based services such as psychotherapy or rehab clinics.
You can find a listing of some of these service organizations and their contact information on the page Non-profit Organizations, Community Organizations and Government Agencies.
Friends and Family
Your family and friends can be a source of motivation and support as you make an effort to quit drinking. Other than yourself, they are the ones who are hurt most by your drinking problem. Other than yourself, they have the most to gain by seeing you recover and live alcohol-free. Often, it is family and friends who help you to realize you have a problem and who persist in encouraging you to quit drinking, even when you relapse or lose faith in yourself. If you have family and friends who are concerned and supportive, thank them for caring and ask them to continue to help you in your effort to quit drinking.
Friends and families can be of inestimable support while you go through the process of recovery. However, it is unlikely that family and friends will be all you need to quit drinking. Often, attempting to quit drinking by relying only on assistance from family and friends will leave you "unrecovered", going back and forth between drinking, trying to quit, and drinking again. There are two reasons for this. First, your family and friends are not experts on alcoholism or recovery. Even if a family member or friend has overcome a drinking problem, the approach or solution that worked for him or her may not work for you. Second, there may be unconscious patterns in a relationship with family and friends that actually support a drinking problem. For these reasons, it's smart to look beyond family and friends for help when you want to quit drinking.
You may find that the best way to get help from your family and friends is to have them join Al-Anon, which is a Twelve Step program of recovery for friends and family members of alcoholics. The style and approach of Al-Anon doesn't suit everyone but it does help people see that certain patterns of relationship encourage drinking problems and hold people back from recovery. Even well-intentioned efforts to be helpful and supportive can undermine recovery by fostering "co-dependent" patterns of behavior. Programs such as Al-Anon can raise awareness of these dysfunctional patterns of relationship.
If Al-Anon doesn't suit your family or friends, consider the possibility of a few sessions with a psychotherapist who works with couples and "substance abuse" issues. What's important is to recognize that alcohol problems exist in a context of relationships with others, both past and present, and that even "good relationships" can contribute to problems in unconscious ways.
About Family
Not every family situation is a source of motivation and support. Marital and family problems often begin and are exacerbated because of an alcoholic family member. Sadly, often spouses and children contribute to the problem drinker's habit, and unintentionally make it worse. It is common place for a family to look the other way, or deny, and allow heavy drinking to continue rather deal with the problem. The spouse wants to keep the family together, decrease tension and potential violence. This is understandable but highly toxic and ultimately will lead to a deepening of the problem and add more, not less, stress and abuse. Denial is the single most perilous issue for both the alcoholic and family members because denial stuffs the problem down but it doesn't help it to go away. Family members use denial to rationalize the drinker’s alcohol dependency. If you are dealing with a problem with alcohol and have yet to admit it––to yourself and to your family––rest assured they know you have a problem, no matter how clever you think you have been in attempting to cover up your drinking. And rest assured they are also in denial. Even so, you, and they, know you are in denial. What is necessary is for all of you to have the courage to admit there is a problem and all of you seek help together. Because it's not just you that has the problem; every member of your family is negatively affected by your drinking, and those affects are damaging to yours and their psyche, emotional health, physical health, economic health, and spiritual health. When your family denies the obvious and refuses to face the truth they are in trouble. If they, and you don't get help, they face a life of severe psychological and emotional distress.
Families of alcoholics more often than not become codependent. Codependency is in and of itself an unconscious addiction. It's an addiction to another person’s abnormal behavior that shows up as a neurotic attempt to save, protect, and hide the problem from others, and to play the role of the all-suffering family member. Most alcoholics have periods when they stop drinking for a short while, which gives the spouse and other family members the false belief that the problem is solved. But, of course, until the alcoholic deals head on with the problem he or she will return to drinking and the cycle of codependency continues. The alcoholic’s codependent family members do everything possible to hide the problem, preserve the family’s prestige and project the family's image. The spouse and children may avoid making friends and bringing other people home in order to hide problems caused by alcoholism. The codependent family members forget about their own needs and desires. They devote their lives in a vain attempt to control or cure their addicted family member. They become "enablers,” unknowingly helping the alcoholic continue with his alcoholism. The enabler will lie, fabricate, deny, and clean up the mess left by the alcoholic thus enabling the alcoholic to continue to drink.
Families of alcoholics need treatment just as much as alcoholics. So don't expect to get help from your immediate family. Recognize that you are all in it together and have the courage and respect for yourself and your family members and make a pact to get help and get well. Marriage and family counselors can help with the tensions created in the alcoholic’s home. School counselors can provide information and support to adolescents who have family problems because of parental alcoholism. Therapists in hospitals and mental health centers, and state-run alcohol programs provide information and services for alcohol related problems. Al-Anon and Alateen are two of the most successful organizations helping families of alcoholics. Al-Anon is designed to mainly help the spouses of alcoholics, while Alateen is designed to help children of the alcoholic. Both organizations’ philosophy is based upon the Alcoholic Anonymous Twelve Step recovery program. The main goal of these organizations is to help family members understand that they are not responsible for an alcoholic’s drinking problems and that family members' recovery does not depend upon the alcoholic’s recovery.
Realize that your drinking problem is having a terrible effect on each and every member of your family. Your alcoholism will cause psychological, emotional, and physical problems that can last a lifetime, and can destroy the family unit. You must do something about your problem, not just for your sake, but for the sake of every cherished member of your family.
Finally, never forget that, although you have a drinking problem that deeply affects your family, at heart, they love you. That can't solve your problem; only you can do that. But they will continue to love you, and forgive you. Take in their love. It will help you to have the courage to overcome your problem. When it comes to the love they offer, take it all in. Accept it without question or doubt because love heals.
About Friends
Friends can be a big problem for the alcoholic. It's likely many of your friends are also drinkers. Some may even be alcoholics. They may not understand your problem, and they may choose to ignore it. They, too, may be in denial. They, too, may be codependent. Assess your friends and decide which of them to hold onto and let go of the others.
How will you know which of your friends are harmful and which are helpful? That's a no-brainer. You know how to sort them out if you do so during those sober moments when you are able to be honest and truthful with yourself. It may be difficult to give up friends you have had for a long time but it is absolutely necessary. And not only do you need to let go of those friends who are helping you maintain your drinking problem but, so too, you need to let go of the places and things that are familiar to you the drinker.
As an alcoholic you have two distinct personalities and these two compete with one another for your time and attention. Learn to distinguish who you are when you dominated by your drinking personality and when you are in touch with your non-drinking self. They probably both speak to you. One of them is the "stinking thinking you" and the other is the voice that is there to love and encourage you. You know the difference. Discipline yourself to listen to the life-affirming voice and ignore the other voice. The same goes for your friends. Do a ruthless inventory on the people, places, and things that are harming you and get rid of them.
PART FOUR: Creating a Personal Plan to Stop Drinking––Some Questions to Help You
Although overcoming your dependency on alcohol absolutely requires that you have a support system, in the end it is your personal decision to quit that is the critical first factor. If you are ready to quit then take time to consider your options and devise for yourself a plan of action––your personal quit drinking plan. Refer to the information in this article to get started, and as you begin your journey of recovery ask yourself the following questions and then follow up by finding the answers that best fit your makeup.
Who can you ask for help? Look to those you can trust, those who love you and those who are specialists in working with alcoholics. Be brave and admit your problem. Ask them to help you find the help you need.
What can you afford? Do not let money be an issue. Whether you are richer than Croesus or poorer than a church mouse there are programs and people who will help you. AA is free as are other community based treatment programs. There are rehab clinics whose cost range from extraordinarily high to high, and there are outpatient counseling programs that charge a nominal fee.
Should you consult a medical professional to determine if you face health risks? Yes. As part of your exploration in recovery it is wise to have your physical state examined by a physician.
Should you get help from a psychotherapist? There are psychotherapists who specialize in the treatment of alcohol and drug abuse. You can find them through your local AA and through the references listed in this article.
Should you get help from a peer-based group? Yes, if that's what fits for you. These groups are listed in the article.
Should you look for sponsored help in your community from local government. non-profit service agencies, or faith-based organizations? Leave no stone unturned. Check and research all sources so that you are clear about your many options. Once you have done your homework you can then choose the path that is best for you.
Should you consider a home-based recovery program or other self-help products? There are very few home-based recovery programs. One that has been very effective over many years is the multimedia program, Change Your Mind About Drinking.
Is there a particularly significant day when you should begin your alcohol-free life? The day to begin is the day you have finally made up your mind that you are going to get help and you are going to quit. This can be tricky because a part of you will not want to give up the payoffs you've received from drinking. Nevertheless, when that voice within you tells you that it's time to quit listen to it and ignore the other voice that says otherwise. If you have a drinking problem and you don't address it you can be assured it will eventually destroy you.
Are there people, places, or social situations that you need to approach differently or avoid? Yes, you will need to avoid the very people, places, and things that remind you, encourage you and trigger your desire to drink. That's why you want to get help from sources you can trust. They can help you build a new infrastructure and community of people who will be healthy for you.
If you lapse or face challenges, what options do you have? Once you are established with a support group they can help you as you fight the desire to take a drink. You may even relapse at some point. If so, don't beat yourself up. It happens. You can start back again on the path to sobriety. There is no shame is relapsing.
Once you are clear you need and want to stop drinking, and you are determined to let nothing stand in the way of your sobriety, you will find you are guided to the people, places, and programs that will champion your determination. A plan will unfold and you will be on your way to recovery and a new way of being in the world –– alcohol free.
| Thank You To Our Sponsor | |
|---|---|
|
|
CONCLUSION
When all is said and done there is one quality you must find within yourself and nurture to the utmost if you are to become alcohol free and live a life of emotional freedom, abundance, and wellness. And that quality is self-love.
We are not taught to love ourselves and that is why there is so much violence in the world and why we inflict violence on ourselves. Once you are in love with yourself, once you experience that you are not only okay but you are perfectly imperfect and proud of it you will not be enslaved by alcohol or any other drug or addiction.
The simple truth is: Love heals. So as you journey on your path of recovery spend every conscious moment learning to love yourself, at all costs. It will make you free. Not just free from alcohol, but free from fear and shame and feelings of inadequacy.
The Jesuit priest and archaeologist Teilhard de Charin put it this way, "Someday, when we have mastered the winds, the rains, the tides, and gravity we shall harness the power of love. And when we do, for the second time in history we will have discovered fire."
External links
The following blogs have mentioned this article:
- Dryblog
- Alcoholism--A Life Sentence
- Rehab Survival Guide "'How to Stop Drinking' has the most comprehensive overview of all the approaches people use to quit drinking that I've seen."
- Recovery Arts Blog
- Out of Bounds
- Loving an Alcoholic
- Stop Drinking Alcohol by Recovery Princess
